Sure, I've gotten formal feedback on how I did at internships. But, I've never sat down in a room with my bosses and received feedback on how I'm performing in a permanent position. I've never really gotten a raise. And, I've never gotten a bonus.
Although I had no choice but to get reviewed today, there's really nothing I could have planned that would have had as big an effect on me as this.
It should not have been scary, but my stomach has been knotted up for weeks.
Like many of you, I've always been a self doubter. I can know something is right, but if someone tells me with extreme confidence that 2 + 2 = 5, I take a long moment to really think about whether I'm wrong.
At school and at work, I never feel confident about how others perceive me and my work product without immediately getting a paper handed back with an "A" written on it. I am a typical Echo Boomer. (The name given to the generation born to baby boomers - also known as Gen Y or Millenials). I have received this type of feedback my whole life, and as CTS Consulting writes, "This unique form of attention has had a profound effect on the Echo Boomers in two significant areas. One is their level of confidence. These are a group of people pleasers. Their whole lives have been centered around pleasing adults: their parents, their teachers and their coaches. They have grown up being continually watched, graded, ranked, and evaluated. They are an externally defined generation and many of them have typical little idea of how to listen to their own voices." http://go2ctsonline.com/tag/echo-boomers
So, how does this affect us Echo Boomers at work? "With this as a background, what should you expect when [Echo Boomers] come to work? Not surprisingly, typical Echo Boomers will expect to have an impact right away. They want lots of positive feedback and think keeping lines of communication open is very important."
So, now that I have spent 1 1/3 years at my job without receiving a paper with a grade on it, I'm expected to sit in a room and have people tell me how they think I've done. For someone who likes immediate feedback, particularly when it comes as praise, I've been horrified just thinking about it.
Now that I've survived, I have a better understanding of a new goal to work on in my 30's: be confident.
My 30's should be the best time of my life. Confidence in myself when I use my best judgment will let me be a happier person. Today I've learned that it's ok that nobody pats me on the back every time I hand in work...they actually like me anyway!
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