Despite being from Hawaii, I’ve never been much of a surfer. I’ve always enjoyed the waves and absolutely adored boogey boarding, but something about having to stand up with a board moving beneath my feet makes me fall over almost every time. When I first saw paddle boarding in Waikiki, I was intrigued. It looked difficult to balance, but people seemed to effortlessly pull themselves onto waves and never fell off. Having a long stick to hold on to would surely make balancing easier! Also, that meant a day of surfing without the next day feeling like someone punched you in the ribs repeatedly. (If you’ve laid flat on a surfboard for a few hours, you know what I mean).
In 2009, Tina decided she really wanted to try paddle boarding. While home in Hawaii on vacation, Mike and I met Tina in Kahala and rented two SUP. (Standup paddleboards. They’re referred to as SUP. I’ll refer to them as SUP. Now you can refer to them as SUP and sound cool, too). One for Tina; one for Mike. They looked too heavy for me.
We drove them out to a boat dock where we were clearly out of place. We were parked among black trucks with large wheels and Hawaiian flag decals. There were large men with fishing poles sitting on this dock watching us: a 90 lb. Chinese-Japanese girl, a haole, and “me,” attempt to lift the heavy boards into the water.
Tina gets on her board first but although she is paddling her hardest, the wind is so strong that she is actually moving backwards. The look of panic on Tina’s face sends me into hysterics. Fortunately, some local man sees the poor small girl drifting out to sea with her friend immobilized from laughter and reached out his hand to stop her. We quickly put the boards back onto the car and drove to a safer location.
After this initial experience, I had a few great experiences SUPing. My mom rented us boards right outside of her condo and we were able to stand and paddle without issue. So, when we heard from a family friend that they make inflatable SUPs, we knew we had to get them! Mike got his a few weeks ago, but this weekend was the debut of my 10’ ULI Steamroller! I couldn’t wait to see how it would compare to Mike’s Fat Ass Quad.
Getting the board was not without issue. I ordered my board and paddle so that they would arrive together. Of course, I planned on them arriving the day of Hurricane Irene. I was anxiously awaiting FedEx delivery notification, so I decided to track my package.
Read the third one down. Natural Disaster! Was my board destroyed in the hurricane? That was quite an activity code for my package. You can imagine how nervous I was from 9 AM on 8/29 until 7:02 AM on 8/30. Fortunately, in the meantime, my paddle arrived on 8/29 in a very tall box. I was happy to have it safely in my home, away from the hurricane, but I did not have time to unpack it because I work a lot.
On 8/30, my board did arrive and when we arrived home from a late dinner, Mike helped me carry the package upstairs. As soon as we walked in the door, he turned to me and said, “where’s your paddle?” The tallest object in our home was no longer where I had left it and I ran through the apartment searching for it. It was big enough that I knew it could not just be hiding somewhere. It was gone. Our housekeeper had come in that day and although it was a large, unopened box, I knew she had thrown it away.
I ran downstairs to the trash room but it was empty. We looked outside where large trash is sometimes collected, but there was nothing. I began to panic and we ran to the doorman to see if he had an idea. I increasingly felt that my brand new paddle was sitting among banana peels and coffee grinds – waiting to be grinded up itself. We approached the doorman, completely out of breath and I stammered, “where can we find trash?” Mike, just as un-eloquently and much more “Freudianly” stuttered, “our babysitter may have done something.” That broke some of the tension and we burst out laughing. Babysitter? Where did that come from? Fortunately, the doorman knew exactly what we were talking about. He had seen the trashed paddle and had saved it, thinking it was strange that someone would have thrown it out. Finally, I was set to SUP.
The promised rain for Labor Day weekend never showed but the wind was strong and the waves were fierce. Mike was able to paddle his board out past the breakers and back in as he caught a wave that pushed him onto the sand. The choppy waves were scary but of less concern than the strong current. Mike said he would paddle my board out if I swam along-side. I agreed but as soon as a giant wave came toward us, I jumped on his back before he could argue and we paddled the board out together. Once the waves were just lifting me up and dropping me, rather than breaking over my head, Mike left to get his board. I was all alone in the ocean. The bad conditions meant there were no other paddle boarders in the water that day. But we were brave! I felt brave. Then I looked at Mike who was motioning from the beach for me to move a different way. I didn’t realize I was drifting. The waves were increasing again and I was having a hard time paddling fast enough. I remembered Tina and wished a large Hawaiian fisherman was there to save me. Mike arrived on his board just in time to help as I was thrown off my board into a crashing wave. “My paddle!” I worried, fearing that it may be lost again. Mike, of course, took care of my paddle and helped me back on my board and safely to shore. Not without me getting completely out of breath first.
There were no more trips into the ocean this Labor Day but Mecox Bay runs right into the ocean and had some much calmer water. My board was inflated to 17 psi and felt just as good as a standard fiberglass epoxy board. We toured the bay and explored an unknown atoll we named “Bird-Poop Island.” We saw blue crabs scurrying underwater and watched long-necked geese float about (but didn’t get too close because apparently they are vicious and I was not up to beating a goose with my paddle).
I can’t wait to take this board with me all over the world!
P.S.
Really, Hamptons?
Dear Butternut Squash,
